Manhood isn’t associated with the ability to hunt, make money, fix things or shoot. It’s also not associated with the sense of superiority and physical strength. In fact, real men have still some amount of softness in them. The long history of human civilization shows that manhood is more about binding together families and communities, whether they are warrior soldiers or gentleman scholars. Men put love for their women first. They are willing to close the bedroom door slowly so that their wives can continue to sleep while he tries to soothe the baby. He works outside and inside the house every day for his family. He sees marriages not as “his” but as “ours”, where wives and children have significant contributions. Before asking for anything in return, husbands give happiness to their families.
Many men come home every day; turn on the TV, throw their shoes on the floor, asking for snacks and still wonder why their wives seem to get annoyed every day. Many wives lean against the kitchen counter wondering when those boys they have married could start act like a man. Men will go to bed after long hours in front of the TV, leading to another distant, communication-less night. This causes wives to feel harder and harder to keep the sense of emotional and physical intimacy.
Sex that was once an amazing enjoyment becomes less of a priority. It’s no longer a “sacred language” that couples use to represent their deep love with one another. The fantasy and reality become farther apart. The fireworks and giggles are just no longer there. Here are things husbands should understand why it is more difficult to encourage their spouses to have sex:
1. They want us to listen: Husbands should listen more, because wives have their concerns and dreams. We should know how the day has made them feel. We need to know about the failures and successes of the day. By listening to our wives, we could show them that they not just considered as minor things. The way we communicate with her shows that she is important. It isn’t just about anniversaries and birthdays, although it is very important that we don’t forget them. We should bring our wife’s favourite flower every now and then. It’s amazing that even a simple, sincere gesture could really change the way she acts. We should always show our wives that they are still our sweethearts. Hold her hand, give her time, play with her hair and wash the dishes. Despite the usual headaches associated with post childbirth stretch marks and mortgages, we should keep the romance burning.
2. They want to have a date: Stroll around downtown, while putting our hand her back. Take her to a movie, museum and restaurant. Simply make them fall in love again, by making her heart racing. It is suggested to make out in the car before we drive home.
3. They want us to act like man: Wives don’t live to put kids to bed, pick up our socks and wash our dishes, while we watch the TV for just “another five more minutes”. Women actually find men sexually appealing when they are willing to help with household chores and be more responsible. Women want their lives to be more meaningful and richer by making us their partner. We shouldn’t always try to prove them wrong. We should be their allies in joy, fear, tedium and adventure. She wants us to be there to kiss her bruised knees and change diaper together.
4. She wants a special time for herself: In a life full of hard work, wives also need their own space and time. She wants a room to do nothing all, stop, create and at least take a few deep breaths. Obviously, each woman is different. Some prefer to walk under the stars, while others prefer to dive into bubble baths. She should return feeling renewed and rejuvenated afterwards. No more “not tonight sweetheart, it’s a busy day, I’m tired”.
5. They want to have fun with sex: Women are more willing to have sex when regular orgasm is assured. But in many families, it isn’t always happen. For many men, female orgasm could be something that’s shrouded in deep mystery. There are things about female sexuality that are very different from typical male sexuality. Sexual arousal and orgasm among men can be nearly instant like switching on the light. Sexual arousal and orgasm can be flying a huge commercial airliner. There are dozens of buttons and switches that pilot must deal with in the right sequence and timing. Men shouldn’t be intimidated. Wives are in reality the best sex instructor. We should directly ask them about things that turn them on and things that we need to do during the actual intercourse session.